National Lampoon's Gold Diggers

This movie is so bad it almost defies description. It is certainly the worst film released thus far this year, and for any movie to be worse would be a real achievement. Included above is a picture of Playboy Playmate Nikki Ziering (Serving Sara, American Wedding), who appears BRIEFLY. All of the advertising for National Lampoon's Gold Diggers would indicate otherwise, but she's only in about five minutes of the film, and fully clothed at that. This picture is more interesting than the bulk of the film. This may be a really dumb thing to say, but Gold Diggers really needs some nudity and cussing. It is just too dull otherwise.

One of the first mistakes (of many) that writer/director Gary Preisler made was making a script that is not funny. There is just no excuse for this. Yes, there are different types of humor, and different people find different things funny, but there are very few people who will find anything in Gold Diggers amusing. Everything is just stupid and boring. Preisler also made the mistake of going for PG-13. This means a minimum of cussing and zero nudity. A movie about horny young men attracts a certain demographic, and this demographic is more apt to visit the film if it includes some crudity. Heck, it would at least make people stay awake.

The plot revolves around two groups of people trying to kill each other. Calvin (Will Friedle, Trojan War) and Leonard (Chris Owen, Hidalgo, Van Wilder) moved to Los Angeles to make big bucks and score with women. They are dumb and lazy, so when nothing is handed to them, they decide that petty crime is the way to go. They land in jail after trying to rob sisters Doris (Louise Lasser, Fast Food, Fast Women, Requiem For a Dream) and Betty Mundt (Renee Taylor, Dr. Dolittle 2, Returning Mickey Stern), they decide that if they marry and kill them, they can collect their money. However, the Mundts have their own money problems, and figure if they marry these two losers and kill them, they can collect on the life insurance.

What follows is a series of lame attempts by each group to kill the other. The ethical dubiousness of the story really sticks out because the humor is not dark enough to make things funny. If Preisler had a sense of humor, this might work. Instead, he has Taylor and Lasser making age jokes at their own expense, and Friedle and Owen proving that they are not up to leading man material. Friedle is from Boy Meets World and Owen typically plays a nerd. If they looked better, it may also help the film and get some women a reason to watch. Sometimes films are bad enough that it is worth watching because one can make fun of them. Gold Diggers is even worse.

Haro Rates It: Really Bad.
1 hour, 27 minutes, Rated PG-13 for crude and sexual humor, and some drug related material.

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