Dirty Love

The title of the movie is Dirty Love. The stars are Jenny McCarthy and Carmen Electra. So is the latest softcore porno from Playboy? Alas, no. That would be a vast improvement over the dreck that is Dirty Love. It's sad to think that a movie would need some gratuitous nudity in order to hold the interest of the viewer, but in this case, it would serve this non-stop fest of crude jokes some good. Think of Dirty Love as an even baser version of The Sweetest Thing, or Wedding Crashers or The 40 Year-Old Virgin without any of the heart. It is one crude joke after another (including a farting joke with one's mother and a running joke about menstrual blood) that goes out of its way to shock the audience. It does, but stuns them into boredom.

The really sad thing is that McCarthy (Scary Movie 3, Scream 3) does have great comic timing. She has a zany, slapstick quality about her, and looks like she could be a tremendous physical comedian. However, it does not help to mix in any sort of serious emotion. McCarthy cannot handle drama or sadness well at all. She is plain awful at evoking anything that is not superficial. Dirty Love opens with McCarthy screaming "OH MY GOD" repeatedly, each time getting more distraught. In other words, in the first ten seconds, it's obvious that McCarthy (who also wrote the screenplay) is a bad actor.

She plays Rebecca, an aspiring photographer, who returns home to find her boyfriend Richard (Victor Webster, Bringing Down the House, Wishmaster 4) in bed with another woman. This crushes her. Her friends Carrie (Kam Heskin, Vlad, Pride and Prejudice: A Latter-Day Comedy) and Michelle (Carmen Electra, Starsky & Hutch, My Boss's Daughter) attempt to cheer her up. Their plan is to set Rebecca up on a date with a hot guy, and then to take him to where Richard is in order to make him jealous. What ensues is a humiliating series of dates gone wrong.

Waiting in the wings is John (Eddie Kaye Thomas, Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle, American Wedding), Rebecca's average guy assistant who pines after her, while she remains blissfully unaware. Instead, she whines, keeps running into Richard, and keeps going on monstrously bad dates. John Mallory Asher (Thank Heaven) is thoroughly bland with his directing style. Dirty Love is just so boring. Constant screeching by McCarthy, pseudo-Ebonics from Electra, and a sexy whisper/ditzy voice from Heskin add up to one annoying soundtrack. None of the characters are worth caring about, and worse, they are not interesting. It's truly a bad sign when watching Jenny McCarthy strut around the screen in next to nothing is boring.

Mongoose Rates It: Really Bad.
1 hour, 35 minutes, Rated R for strong sexuality, crude humor, language, and drug use.

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