Corky Romano

As a general rule, movies based on characters in Saturday Night Live sketches suck. Now there are exceptions, but the vast majority of them fail critically and at the box office. Corky Romano is not based on a Saturday Night Live character. Whether this is a good thing or not is impossible to tell. Corky Romano (Chris Kattan, Monkeybone, Lucky Numbers) is the black sheep in a crime family led by his father, Pops (Peter Falk, Made, Lakeboat). In a dull introduction, a voice over informs the audience that his brother Paulie (Peter Berg, Cop Land, The Great White Hype) is functionally illiterate, and his other brother Peter (Chris Penn, Bread and Roses, Cement) is a latent homosexual. Both of these characteristics have nothing to do with the movie, and their only purpose is to drive some lame jokes later on.

The FBI has evidence against Pops, and is getting ready to charge him. The only thing the Romano family can do is send Corky undercover to retrieve the evidence. Corky is the only choice because he has no involvement with the family business, and the FBI does not know about him. He is a veterinarian with a clumsy streak, and the joke is he is completely unfit as an agent. His fake resume says he is an expert marksman and can speak five languages. The only person that can see through his scam is Agent Brick Davis (Matthew Glave, Rock Star, The Wedding Singer). By coincidence, every time he commits a major error it solves something. Almost all of the other FBI agents adore him. He has a huge crush on Agent Kate Russo (Vinessa Shaw, The Weight of Water, Eyes Wide Shut), who ignores him. Since Corky is a decent man, his loyalty to his family conflicts with his sense of justice. Will his love for his family cause him to steal evidence? Or will his moral compass force him to turn in his family? Will anybody care after half an hour?

Corky Romano does not work because there is very little humor in it. Kattan's talents lie squarely in the school of physical humor, and there are only so many times he can fall down before it becomes repetitive. The sad thing is that Corky is the only character with any life. Russo, Davis, Peter and Paulie are all cardboard cutouts, embodying one trait. Director Rob Pritts and screenwriters David Garrett and Jason Ward (Sunday's Game) fill the script with lame jokes and set-ups that go nowhere. Corky can never get the evidence against Pops because also works with Davis on a task force looking for a serial killer known as the Night Vulture. It is so obvious who the Night Vulture is that any sort of suspense Pritts intended never occurs. Pritts is low-balling the intelligence level of the audience.

Haro Rates It: Pretty Bad.
1 hour, 26 minutes, Rated PG-13 for drug and sex-related humor, and for language.

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