3000 Miles to Graceland

If erring is human, then Kevin Costner is superhuman. He is capable of making good films, but he seems to gravitate more towards high-minded excess or exceedingly syrupy romance, which makes it easy for people to ridicule him. In a way, it is reassuring to know that he can suck along the whole spectrum. 3000 Miles to Graceland is pure stupidity. It is a boring movie bookended by two video game-like shootouts. In between is a lame extended chase across the country with lamer jokes. If it contained gratuitous nudity, it would be a dream come true for some adolescent boys.

Usually, there is a fine line between amusingly cartoonish violence and dumb violence. Director Demian Lichtenstein and writer Richard Recco scrape the bottom. Lichtenstein is yet another of the ubiquitous music video directors jumping to motion pictures, and Recco is an electrician. This is the pedigree of the film, and it says a lot about the quality of the final product. Murphy (Costner, Thirteen Days, For Love of the Game) and Michael (Kurt Russell, Soldier, Breakdown) were cellmates. Now they are free and planning a casino heist during an Elvis convention. That means, yep, they all dress like Elvis. Costner doesn't really look like Elvis but he is not supposed to. Russell is better, probably because he had practice (in another movie). They get the money, then the bickering begins.

Each person wants the money for himself. After more excruciating turns, Russell ends up on the run with Cybil Waingrow (Courtney Cox, Scream 3, NBC's Friends) and her young son. She knows he participated in the robbery, so she is a liability. She is also after the money. Michael and Murphy are gunning for each other, with the money constantly changing hands. It may sound exciting, but it isn't. Costner's scenes have him acting like a tough guy, who spouts attempts at dark humor every now and then. Russell and Cox's interaction veer between intense attraction and loathing. There is no real reason that Cox tags along for the trip. If Michael had any brain, he would ditch her immediately. Of course, if he did this, there would be no movie (and that's a good thing). Even worse is the story's attempt for some emotion with Cybil's son Jesse (David Kaye, Legends of the Fall). Jesse will try to steal something at every opportunity. Lichtenstein and Recco try to add some paternal bonding between the two. It fails miserably.

The action sequences are like those in a Hong Kong movie. An infinite number of bullets fly back and forth, and everybody has bad aim. The movie begins with the heist and its aftermath. This type of sequence usually happens at the end of a movie. There is energy, but there is no focus. Just to try to add style, Recco adds in some subplots involving two sarcastic cops and other random people. All of the people converge at the end for more mayhem, which serves to wake people up. All it is is more bullets with different people. Stay away from 3000 Miles to Graceland. Watching a montage of action sequences is much the same.

Haro Rates It: Really Bad.
2 hours, 5 minutes, Rated R for strong violence, sexuality, and language.

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