at HARO Online, we are inherently lazy. So we are always looking for people
to hire who can do our work for us. We like to sit around and look busy, and
with the addition of staff, we can do so even more.
HARO is an equal opportunity employer. We are looking for smart, motivated people
who enjoy working in a fast paced environment where you boss does nothing. We
also especially enjoy hiring pretty young women.
Working for HARO has its perks. We offer full medical, dental and vision care
as well as a bitchin' 401(k). Each employee of HARO receives an expense account,
laptop computer, and a big pat on the back every morning at 10:30. We call it
the "10:30 pat on the back." We have a revolutionary flex-time program
(as long as you put in your 85 hours a week).
Your time here at HARO will be beneficial to us and you. Here, you will learn
the inner workings of the copy machine, as well as the how to make over 50 kinds
of coffee. After working for us (if you ever desire to leave), any other position
will seem like heaven.
Opportunites: Does this sound good to you? We are
constantly looking for people to expand our HARO empire. Not only will you
get a great job, but with our pay, you will learn how to live on a small budget.
Please send your resume to firstname.lastname@example.org and we will get back to you
as soon as possible.